Before Mike and I were married we read the book
We enjoyed it and discovered our primary love languages, which has helped us communicate with each other for the last eight years.
A couple of years ago I picked up the book
It's not a ton different than the original. Enough to read through (and I did snag it on clearance!) and a good reminder that even children have different ways of showing and receiving love.
While the book suggests you not apply a love language to children under the age of five, a few weeks ago Xavier's primary love language hit me over the head like a bag of bricks.
It started because he was driving me nuts. Sounds harsh, huh? But truth be told, he was.
Every time he walks by he has to reach out - to poke, rub, hug, kiss, or lightly punch whomever he's passing. That's right - his love language is physical touch. The LOWEST on my rating of 1-5. No wonder he was driving me nuts! Every time I turn around he's on top of me or wrestling someone. If he sits besides you he leans into you. Constantly in others' personal space it seems.
Once I realized that Xavier was just trying to express his love language and that I was probably not filling his love tank like he needed we've made some strides. Nothing super huge, but at least a better understanding of each other. I've made more of an effort to pull him for a quick hug, squeeze his shoulder when he passes, and snuggle him into my ever shrinking lap when he allows. I also pointed out that this was his primary love language to Mike and, although they needed no encouragement, he's made sure they are getting their wrestling and rough housing in at night too!
I've also worked with Xavier on touching others. Not that he was touching inappropriately - just so much poking and wrestling towards his sister and friends. It's a work in progress...maybe by the time we get "there" his primary language will have changed!
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