Mike worked a week of ten hour shifts into the evenings this week, which means he gets Friday off. We loosely planned our day - a couple of errands and then thought we might run into the city to do some shopping, take the kids for a nice lunch, and take little Ev to use her Build-a-Bear gift certificate. In anticipation, I was fixing Mia's hair special this morning, and right as I was finishing she said, "I've got to find a place to sit down," and then just like that she passed out cold. I grabbed her arm as she fell so she only hit the side of her head on the closet door frame, thankfully. Several seconds passed as I tried to rouse her, and when she finally came back to, she had some posturing that concerned me that looked seizure like. In retrospect I really don't think it was, but my mom bells combined probably with some PTSD got me several shades of worried.
Mike was out getting the little van looked at so I hit dial on my phone, put him on speaker, and explained what had happened. He was there in a couple minutes, we decided she needed to be looked at, and loaded her into the bus. These moments are when I so desperately miss our hometown. I was pretty calm (for me) and clear headed. I wasn't rushing or panicked. I firmly thought she needed to be checked out but was still able to get dressed, get my purse, etc. Back home I would have called our clinic and my friend, Steph, would have gotten her in and checked her over for me. I would have had to take her to the hospital for some of the tests perhaps, but the level of trust is established and it means so much. What I would have preferred to do in this town is call and get her into a doctor. I would have liked to have kept her away from the germs and long waits of the ER. But, while the pediatrician we see is fine, the level of care and trust is just that - fine. We so often can't get into them (no sick kids, no fevers) and so recently had COVID (even though we are outside our isolation) that I just didn't even try. So Mike dropped us off at the ER and went back home to be with the other children once we got checked in. I do have to say that our ER here is very efficient, with very kind staff. The couple of times we've used them we don't wait long and we aren't around other people (no sitting in a waiting room with tons of snots and coughers).
After being admitted, we decided that the best thing to do was to run some baseline tests. I really really thought this would be tied to blood sugar, as my dad and I have both struggled with low sugars over the years, but hers was completely in a normal range. We decided to do some blood work, they did an EKG, and I requested a urine analysis because....well just because it's Mia. I appreciated how the doc talked things over with me. We decided not to do a CT as I didn't think she hit her head hard enough to warrant it.
After all that we found.....well, nothing really. She did have some levels on the blood work that were borderline or a little off but nothing that was alarming in and of itself. And so, we went home.
This was actually very hard for me. You see, I really struggle taking my kids to the ER and walking out, "fine." I know I should feel grateful, but for me ER visits are for big things. So to me, this morning's episode was a big thing and it ended up not being and I can't let go of the fact that either we wasted time and resources or that something was missed. My mom gut is unsettled. I want to believe it's fine. But there was that time that I told myself everything was fine and then it wasn't and I about let her kidneys go to waste, so..... yeah.
I spent the rest of the day in a funk. Our plans were derailed, and I'm certainly not upset at Mia, but it was just disappointing. My mom vibe was unsettled all day, to the point of verge of tears. I wandered around the thrift store for awhile with no purpose (what I wouldn't give for a Target in this town). Did some laundry. Made supper. It was fine. The day was fine. But it wasn't quite.
Mia, however, seems fine. She ate, played, worked happily on her Valentine box, and seems completely unfazed from this morning's events. I should take lessons...
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