lest I forget...

To my Natalee...

I should be in bed, but I had to tumble down the stairs, boot my computer back up, and record this, lest I forget it's sweetness someday.
Tonight, as I sorted and stashed away totes of maternity clothes (yay for Mommy) you slept upstairs in your cradle. You began your grunting and cooing, signaling me for what I thought was your feeding time. I finished with the shirt I was folding and scooped you out of your cradle, kissed your cheeks, changed your diaper and sat down to nurse. After a couple of minutes it was clear to me that you'd fooled me...you weren't really hungry, just up for a cuddle and not interested in eating. I tried to wake you up, thinking if you ate now we'd both get a good few hours of sleep. You would not have it. I tickled you, rubbed your head, stroked your cheek and moved you about. Nope...you fooled me sweet girl, so I gave up.
Since I already had you in my arms, I kept you there, as you slept, snuggling you for my benefit more than yours. I watched your sweet face as dreams flitted beneath your eyelids, smiles lifted your rosebud mouth, and baby giggles floated from within. I'll never know what you were dreaming, dear one, but I know that, long after you were sound asleep I sat there holding you. Even when you began to squim, signaling to me that you'd rather be laid down, I held you tight, watching you. Of all the moments I've recorded on camera I wish this was one of them, but perhaps what makes it so special is that it will forever have to be a memory picture...the way you'd grin...half-way, then a whole big smile...a pure smile--not just the fake mouth open ones you give me when you're awake, but a real sweet toothless smile. And your giggle, as pure as a tiny breeze floating by. Whatever you were dreaming, baby girl, thank you for sharing it with me. May all your dreams be just as sweet, now and forever, and may I never forget this special moment.

Love,
Mommy