Sighs and Eye Rolls {An Afternoon in the ER with Evalynn}

Monday was such a beautiful day.  Before lunch we headed outside and we stayed out there for hours and hours.  I served lunch outdoors and the children were a proper muddy mess - a perfect false spring day.  Right before her naptime, Ev was jumping the last of her energy out on the trampoline.  A sibling crawled up to wait their turn (no one's allowed to jump with her) and bounced the mat as she jumped near and her little leg buckled.  She fell onto the mat and cried and cried and cried.  

Ev can be a whiner but when it comes to being hurt she's not usually a dweller, especially if it means missing out on fun.  Something about the way she cried, how she immediately sat and wanted me to hold her, made me suspicious.  I took her inside and cleaned her up and had her try to walk around inside on the even floor.  She was limping hard when she would walk and cried and told me to just carry her.  {insert sigh}

I called the pediatrician's office to try to get an appointment for her to be seen.  They gave me an appointment for one hour from my call time which seemed perfect, and then asked what she needed to be seen for.  I explained.  The receptionist hesitated, then put me on hold.  She came back and said she'd talked to the nurse and they thought if I thought she was seriously hurt we should just go to the ER.  {insert eye roll} 

The thing was, I didn't think she was "seriously" hurt.  She was limping, fussing, but not screaming in pain.  I could move and manipulate the leg that had buckled without terrible grimacing.  To me, ER visits are for big deals.  This would make the third time we would use the ER since moving here for something that we just needed help with, but that was not a big deal in my mind (Ev's burns were a big deal that warranted a visit).  I was frustrated and defended my position but she took back her appointment and told me that she'd probably need an x-ray so just go to the ER (docs can't order x-rays?).  {insert sigh}

So....

I put her down for a nap.  Ha.  I know that sounds terrible but it was a two-fold decision... I wasn't walking into the ER for an hours long visit with a baby who'd been wild and free outdoors for hours and hadn't had a nap.  I also thought perhaps she'd wake up from nap and be fine.  

She slept okay.  She was tender of the leg and laid very still, but she did sleep.  After naptime she was still limping.  Darn.  I called Mike home.  He had her walk, manipulated her leg, and we talked about what it could be.  If anything, it was a hairline or buckle fracture.  But this baby goes full bore all day long so even if it was minor we probably needed to be aware to keep her down.  

Reluctantly I loaded her up and away we went.  Evalynn started our check-in intake by putting her toy phone in the recycling bin which was locked and required a call to maintenance to retrieve.  Thanks, Ev.  After we were checked in we waited.  And waited.  I tried to keep a cheerful countenance.  It's hard.  Hospitals give me germ anxiety.  They didn't have any rooms for us, but we were the only ones in the waiting room, so they came out and assessed her in the waiting room and went ahead and ordered an x-ray.  I did appreciate that - that we didn't wait for a room, then wait for x-ray, then wait for results.  We got to wait for a room and x-ray at the same time.  I do want to say that everyone was very kind.  Every single person.  That helps to boost the spirits of a second guessing worn out mom.  X-ray came and got us and then took us back to the waiting room.  

We washed up and she had a snack while we sat.  It was post nap, pre supper.  Also her hair elastic broke.  The epitome of hot mess.

A room opened up and they took us back, which I was grateful for because two other people, both with support persons had come into the waiting area (it's a small area).  The first x-rays came back clear, and the doctor came in and assessed some more.  She agreed that it was very convincing that she could be hurt based on how she walked.  And so, she asked if we could x-ray the upper leg.  I actually hesitated and said I really don't know if that's necessary.  She pointedly but kindly said, "well if she's still limping in the morning and you're questioning yourself you'll wish you'd done it."  Ooookayyy, then.  Point taken.  

We waited some more and then back to x-ray.  (The x-ray tech did cover her properly with a shield - both pics were taken while she was still adjusting her.)

After this set of x-rays we waited and waited again.  Eventually those x-rays came back and they were also clear.  By this point my face was probably a mess of flame and fluster.  It's not that I wanted her to be hurt, but I feel foolish when my "mom gut" that I'm supposed to have is of no merit.  

We loaded up and went home with the diagnosis of a knee sprain.

Later I posted on my Facebook "You know that mother's intuition everyone talks about? I'm convinced I just don't really have any." People were quick and kind to defend me and I appreciate it, but let me explain.  I know when to change babies, rock them, read to them....I know when to have a heart to heart with a big kid or give them space.  But man alive, I'm 13 years into this gig and I have no idea when to seek emergency medical services for my kids.  One time I didn't and I let one of our baby's kidneys go nearly septic....twice in the last month we've been to the ER with different children and the visits have borne no real fruit except "follow up with the pediatrician if you need to."  I tried to start there.  Part of this is the system.  Part of it is me - just no real mom gut when it comes to medical stuff except lots of second guessing and circling anxiety.  It's exhausting.

We are thankful Evalynn was not really hurt.  Even if she is the world's best faker.