I've been trying to adjust to taking my baby girl to the sitter. Monday I went to work from 9-12 and today from 8-11:30. Natalee's doing better than mommy...she doesn't seem to mind and, of course, Miss Patty gives her all the love a girl could want.
Let me tell you...the last few weeks I'd been telling myself that I was meant to be a stay-at-home mommy. God must be calling me to stay at home with my baby...how could He ask me to go to work? But, something wasn't setting right...and after much prayer I realized...it was because I was the one who wanted to stay at home and He was telling me that I have been called to be a teacher & it is time to go back to work. Once I realized that my stomach has felt better, but that doesn't make my heart hurt any less when I leave my little girl in the arms of someone else. Sometimes doing what's right/what you're called to do and doing what's easy aren't necessarily the same thing. Bending to His will instead of living mine is sometimes hard, but I'm convinced I'll see His glory if I stay obedient.
I start back full time next Monday...please pray for me.
7 comments:
Jenn, I believe that no one can love Natalee like you do, and it would be great if you could stay with her always. I also believe that there are children that you teach that no one can love like you do. I've seen some of your students, ones that I would have a hard time loving, but YOU do! Keep that in mind, also summer break is a short 3 1/2 months away ;).
-Lauren
That was the hardest thing I ever have had to do was to leave Lydia at the sitters. We had planned on going over to her house so her kids could meet Lydia, play with her a little bit, and discuss some of the final details. I put off calling her until it was too last. Gail actually made me call. The entire ride over there I cried, the entire way to work I cried, but when I got to work and got busy I was ok. Not that I didn't call. I probably called her 5 times that day. It will get better. I wanted to stay at home also, but after going to work and doing my job I realized that I couldn't do it. Not yet anyway. I need that time away from home to be with other adults. The first Christmas break I realized that Lydia needed that time away from me also. She needed to learn to depend on other people, to trust other people, and to learn to get along with other children. That break I couldn't even walk out of the room without her crying. That was hard for me. I'll be thinking about you on Monday.
I know it's hard but it will get easier. I was convinced Levi was going to think Barb was his Mom. It's fun now when I go and big him up, when he sees me he gets the biggest grin on his face. I honestly believe that I appreciate him more and he appreciates me more because he goes to a sitter. Hang in there, I'll be praying for you.
so glad you realized what you are suppose to do. it will be hard, but worth it:) i will be praying for you:)
I completely believe what Lauren said. No one can love some of your students the way you do. I'm not a mom, so I can't sympathize like others on leaving a baby at a sitter, but I am a teacher and I know and SEE the difference you make everyday you are here. God knows what he is doing! And I can't wait for you to come back!
I didn't read this blog until today so I hope I'm not too late and you get this comment. I, too, will be thinking about you. You are a strong woman, (I've seen it) and you will see yourself through this. I have NO doubts! Hang in there! Kristina
Jenn~I too missed this post. I know how you feel and you'll even second guess your decision more on Monday, but everything will be o.k. Natalee will be a confident, well-rounded, much loved little girl. She will love to see you when you pick her up, but won't hate being left...after all...mommy, you always come back! Just think of the difference you make at school, and how much you will appreciate your little girl after a day of "problems" at work. I love the give and take I have...short hours, who else comes home @3:30?, summers off, and every holiday she is home so are you. Hang in there, you'll make it! At least Mike will be there by your side when you leave her:) Vance had to do that deed all by himself!
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