I've done great with my fast. I'm amazed at how much willpower I can have. Even leaving the room when Mike's watching TV and turning to the Bible instead of the computer. I'm REALLY enjoying the Bible.
The rest of the week, though, Satan's worked extra hard at me. I'd planned on feeling serene, peaceful, and all put together when the fast was over...
Instead, every time I turn around I'm being tested with a new challenge & God's watching my reaction while Satan jests me further to get me to respond with anger or sarcasm. SIGH
So, the blog that I thought was going to be about how I could live radically--adoption, homeschooling, perhaps using my gift to homeschool adopted special needs kiddos (whew, did I just say that out loud!?)...is instead about how every.time.I.turn.around. Satan's whispering in my ear that I can't even handle living NORMALLY with 2 children, so HOWINTHEWORLD could I ever live radically with more?
But I'll keep praying, reading, studying, praying, talking, praying and going forward....
But in the meantime I've gathered myself enough to face the children that are in this house now...
the 2 year old who peed her panties while I was downstairs changing laundry...
and the 1 year old who had enough gall to sit in the puddle and splash!
:) These are the moments...I'll miss someday!
3 comments:
HUGS!! :)
or maybe he has given you these desires and you are accepting that you want what he wants for your life and he's equipping you now with the 2 you have???
oh the joys!!!
i'm so enjoying the Bible too! eliminating the pressure of "studying" the Bible and understanding every little thing (or big thing) has allowed me to enjoy it and read it! i was crippling myself by forcing guidelines on how to read it and simply not reading it at all except a verse here or a verse there. boy was i missing out!
He's attacking me, too, Jenn--and I'm feeling pretty alone in fending his parries. These times teach us to rely more fully on God, don't they?! I know I'll look back someday and see a season of growth, but in the middle of it. . .phew! It's rough!
Remember God doesn't call the equipped, HE EQUIPS THE CALLED!
Rest in that (and I can totally see you leaning on Him through adoption, homeschooling, and giving your gifts to Him!! smile).
I admire your faith and honesty... it is a comfort to know that I am not the only one that has felt challenged and even defested by my own children at times. Good luck on your journey!
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